And Now, And Here-第87章

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however；　no　one　knew　what　he　was　doing；　because　these　disciplines　were　practiced　on　the　inner　plane。

outwardly；　no　one　could　know　what　was　going　on　with　ramakrishna。

for　instance；　how　could　one　figure　out　from　the　outside　what　was　happening　inside　him　when　he　followed　the　discipline　of　the　sufis？　and　he　himself　never　mentioned　a　word　about　what　he　was　involved　in。

nevertheless；　in　the　course　of　these　practices　he　went　through　a　certain　discipline　which　produced　such　incredible　results　that　even　people　from　outside　could　not　miss　what　was　happening　to　him。

there　is　a　sect　in　bengal　called　the　sakhi…sampradaya。

in　this　sect；　the　seeker　looks　upon　himself　as　krishnas　beloved　or　wife。

he　begins　to　live　like　krishnas　girlfriend。

whether　the　seeker　is　a　male　or　a　female　doesnt　matter。

to　the　followers　of　this　sect；　krishna　is　the　only　man；　the　seeker　bees　his　beloved；　his　radha；　his　girlfriend。

for　six　months　ramakrishna　practiced　the　discipline　of　this　sect；　and　strangely　enough；　the　tone　of　his　voice　became　feminine。

no　one　could　distinguish　his　voice　from　a　distance。

his　gait　became　feminine。

actually；　men　and　women　cannot　walk　alike；　their　biological　structure　is　basically　different。

since　the　woman　carries　a　child；　she　has　a　special　place　in　her　abdomen　for　that　purpose　……　which　is　not　the　case　with　men。

hence　both　walk　differently。

no　matter　how　carefully　a　woman　may　take　her　steps；　she　can　never　walk　like　a　man。

she　can　never　run　like　a　man　does　……　there　is　no　way；　their　physical　make…up　is　different。

but　ramakrishna　began　running　like　a　woman；　he　began　walking　like　a　woman；　his　gestures；　his　voice；　took　on　a　feminine　quality。

one　could　explain　away　all　these　changes　by　assuming　that　any　man　with　some　effort　can　walk　or　talk　like　a　woman。

the　astonishing　thing；　however；　was　that　his　breasts　developed　and　became　womanlike。

even　this　too；　one　can　rationalize　by　pointing　out　that　many　men　grow　breasts　in　their　old　age。

but　the　most　incredible　thing　was　that　ramakrishna　began　to　have　a　regular　menstrual　period　in　much　the　same　way　as　a　woman　does。

for　medical　science；　this　phenomenon　caused　great　interest　and　concern。

after　having　practiced　the　discipline　for　six　months；　it　took　a　year　and　a　half　for　ramakrishna　to　recover　from　its　impact　and　e　back　to　his　normal　state。

just　by　exercising　his　will　power　ramakrishna　assumed　he　was　the　girlfriend　of　krishna；　and　his　personality　changed　accordingly。

in　europe；　stigmata　appear　on　the　hands　of　many　christian　monks。

stigmata　are

when　jesus　was　crucified；　nails　were　driven　into　his　palms　and　the　blood　came　out。

so　there　are　many　christian　monks　who；　following　the　morning　of　good　friday；　the　day　jesus　was　crucified；　identify　themselves　with　jesus。

they　bee　one　with　jesus。

as　the　hour　of　crucifixion　approaches；　thousands　of　people　gather　to　watch　them。

the　monks　stand　with　their　arms　outspread　as　if　they　are　tied　to　the　cross。

and；　as　if　nails　have　been　driven　into　their　hands；　holes　appear　in　their　palms　and　blood　begins　to　flow。

with　such　resolve　do　they　bee　identified　with　jesus　that；　as　it　were；　they　go　through　an　actual　crucifixion。

without　any　means　being　used；　a　hole　being　made；　a　nail　being　driven；　the　blood　begins　to　flow　from　their　hands。

we　are　not　aware　of　the　immense　possibilities　in　which　willpower　can　be　effective。

entering　death　voluntarily　is　the　most　profound　of　all　experiments　in　exercising　ones　will。

ordinarily　it　is　not　difficult　to　make　a　resolve　in　favor　of　life　……　we　indeed　want　to　live。

but　it　is　very　difficult　to　make　use　of　will　for　the　sake　of　experiencing　death。

those　who　really　want　to　know　the　full　meaning　of　life　should　have　an　experience　of　death　at　least　once。

without　having　seen　what　death　is　like；　they　can　never　really　know　what　life　is　worth。

thats　the　only　way　to　realize　that　they　have　something　of　immense　value　……　the　elixir　of　life　……　which　they　can　know　only　by　passing　through　the　experience　of　death。

one　who　cannot　go　through　this　experience　remains　sadly　deprived；　because　if　he　could　see　once　on　his　own　what　death　is　like；　the　fear　of　death　would　no　longer　exist　for　him；　then　there　is　no　death　at　all。

simply　using　your　total　willpower　you　can　draw　your　consciousness　inside　from　all　parts　of　your　body。

you　close　your　eyes　and　feel　that　the　consciousness　is　shrinking　inward。

you　feel　the　energy　moving　away　from　your　hands　and　feet　towards　the　inside。

you　see　the　energy　moving　down　from　your　head。

the　energy　begins　to　converge　upon　the　center　from　where　it　originated　……　the　rays　begin　to　withdraw　from　all　points。

if　this　experiment　is　carried　on　with　an　intense　feeling；　in　an　instant　the　whole　body　bees　dead；　only　one　point　remains　inside；　alive。

the　entire　body　bees　lifeless；　while　the　inner　core　remains　alive　like　a　flame。

this　living　center　can　now　be　experienced　very　well　as　something　separate　from　the　body。

it　is　as　though　rays　of　light　were　spread　out　in　pitch　darkness　and　it　was　impossible　to　differentiate　between　the　light　and　the　darkness；　and　then　all　the　rays　were　to　withdraw　and　e　back　in　at　one　point　……　the　contrast　between　the　darkness　and　light　would　bee　clearly　apparent。

so　when　the　vital　energy　inside　us　withdraws　and　bees　condensed　at　a　certain　point；　one　begins　to　feel　the　entire　body　separate　from　that　point。

now　all　you　need　is　a　little　willpower　and　it　will　be　out　of　the　body。

then　just　think　of　going　out　of　the　body；　and　you　will　be　out　of　your　body。

now　you　can　see　the　body　from　outside；　lying　like　a　corpse。

a　thin　silver　cord　will　still　keep　you　connected　with　the　navel　of　your　body；　however。

this　is　the　very　passage　for　going　in　and　out　of　the　body。

you　will　be　amazed　to　see　that　as　soon　as　this　substance；　this　condensed　energy　es　out　of　the　body；　it　assumes　a　new　form　of　its　own　……　that　it　enlarges　and　bees　a　new　body。

this　is　the　subtle　body。

it　is　an　exact　duplicate　of　the　physical　body；　except　that　its　like　a　fuzzy　film；　transparent。

if　anyone　were　to　touch　this　body；　his　hand　would　pass　through　without　affecting　it。

so　the　first　principle　in　the　discipline　of　operating　the　will　is　to　pull　all　the　life　energy　inward　at　one　point。

the　moment　this　energy　bees　condensed　at　the　inner　core；　it　jumps　out　of　the　body。

just　a　desire　to　e　out　of　the　body；　and　the　phenomenon　occurs。

and　again；　just　a　desire　to　get　back　into　the　body；　and　it　is　back　in。

this　does　not　involve　any　doing　on　your　part。

the　only　thing　that　requires　any　action　is　that　of　simply　drawing　all　the　energy　inside　at　a　certain　point。

once　that　happens；　your　subtle　body　can　easily　get　out　of　the　physical　body　and　get　back　in。

if　the　seeker　goes　through　this　experience　once；　his　entire　life　is　transformed　instantly。

then　what　he　had　known　as　life　until　that　moment；　he　will　no　longer　be　able　to　call　it　the　same。

similarly；　he　will　not　look　upon　death　the　way　he　did　until　then。

he　will　find　it　a　little　difficult　to　run　after　the　things　he　chased　in　the　past。

it　will　be　hard　for　him　to　fight　for　things　as　he　used　to。

he　will　no　longer　be　able　to　ignore　things　he　ignored　previously。

the　life　is　bound　to　change；　because　it　is　the　kind　of　experience　which　can　never　leave　the　life　just　the　way　it　was。

therefore；　every　seeker　of　meditation　must　at　some　time　or　other　go　through　the　out…of…the…body　experience。

its　an　essential　step；　which　once　having　been　taken　brings　about　incredible　consequences　for　his　future。

its　not　difficult；　only　a　firm　resolve　is　required。

making　a　firm　resolve　is　hard；　not　the　technique　itself。

hence　its　a　little　difficult　to　jump　directly　into　this　experiment。

one　needs　first　to　begin　experimenting　with　smaller　resolutions。

as　one　succeeds　in　these；　his　willpower　goes　on　increasing。

actually；　the　various　religious　practices　in　the　world　are　not　religious　practices　really。

they　are；　in　fact；　preparatory　to　building　ones　resolve。

for　example；　a　man　fasts　for　three　days　……　this　is　simply　a　discipline　for　strengthening　ones　willpower。

fasting　in　itself　is　of　little　advantage；　the　real　gain　lies　in　the　fact　that　he　pleted　his　vow；　that　he　maintained　his　resolve。

another　man　declares　solemnly　that　he　would　stand　in　one　place　for　twelve　hours。

now　his　standing　for　twelve　hours　is　of　no　use；　the　actual　benefit　es　from　his　making　that　resolve　and　the　pletion　of　it。

by　and　by；　people　forgot　the　basic　idea　that　these　techniques　were　meant　for　strengthening　ones　determination。

the　man　thinks　standing　in　itself　is　enough；　so　he　continues　to　stand。

he　loses　sight　of　the　fact　that　simply　standing　there　is　purposeless。

the　basic　idea　is　to　exercise　the　inner　firmness　which　decides　to　stand；　and　then　sticking　to　that　decision。

any　means　can　be　used　in　order　to　fulfill　ones　determination。

even　small　resolves　can　do　……　no　need　to　make　big　resolutions。

for　example；　a　man　may　stand　in　this　balcony　and　resolve　not　to　look　below　for　six　hours；　even　this　much　will　do。

the　question　is　not　that　the　man　will　gain　something　by　not　looking　downward。

the　question　is　that　he　determined　something　and